I do care about your advice! And you're forgetting, Richard. I spent months at our house watching Black Tapes all night and going through them how you taught me. I know that this would have just ended up as another one that we can't explain.
But maybe someone else could. Someone who has abilities that we don't. I want this to be something that can easily be explained, Richard. I want it not to be actual demons. I thought that you would want that to and it wouldn't bother you if I did it. Because of getting those answers.
You don't know because you assumed before acting. The likelihood that a random stranger would know something and share that knowledge in unlikely, and it's insulting to those you do know that you would trust random strangers to them.
You could have made it private, but you didn't. You could have trusted me to at least try to find answers, but you didn't, and any attempts at explaining this fact are met with dismissal. How is that caring about my advice?
[For a minute, Alex is speechless. She doesn't know what to say, which is a complete oddity for Alex Reagan. So in the end she just takes a breath and says two words and it's clear that she means them:]
[There's silence on his end for a very long time, almost as if he's hung up, but he hasn't. When he finally speaks, he's sounding calmer, but it's very low as if he's sure she won't even acknowledge his request.]
[Alex has definitely thought that he hung up, and it's only all the emotion going on that she doesn't do the thing of saying his name in an effort to try and fill dead air like she would on the show.]
Richard, there's no point to it now. It's been up for so long that everyone has seen it.
[He's expecting her to try and change the topic because she's making excuses because she doesn't want to take it down or private it or listen to anything he has to say.
After all, she's already said he's not involved in this.]
[Alex is just going to stare at her device for a very long time, and then stare at the pictures of the demon and then stare at her device again before she just says:]
[Okay, so this isn't something that Alex wants to talk about with space between them, so ten minutes later, she's knocking at the door of his office. It's clear that this is bothering her from just looking at her. At the moment, Alex is looking far closer to the Alex from last year when her sleep was so messed up than the Alex of late, and she's pale as hell.
But above all that, Alex is worried. And she's more worried about him.]
[If pressed, Richard would never admit that he has the picture up on his computer, that he's been pouring over details of it to verify that it's not another black tape.
He refuses even to entertain the idea that it's a real demon. Demons aren't real.
Even if the tiny voice in the back of his head, the voice of a far younger and more believing Richie Strand is telling him otherwise; that it looks exactly like what he and Cheryl saw. What app the children seem to have seen.
But that's too convenient, isn't it. It has to be a trick, something Warren did to scare Alex off. He'd heard what their conversation had entailed and, of course, there was Coralee and his father. The fact that they had been kidnapped to bring him to Geneva. And of course, Alex had found her way onto the short list of people he cared about, people he'd do anything to protect. It would make sense for Warren to go after her. It was logical.
The knocking was met with a minimized window before he crossed over to open the door. It was Alex, of course, it was Alex. It wouldn't be anyone but her, an argument over her idiocy in dealing with this or not, it wasn't something he wanted to be closed out of the loop of. She'd already started to do that spectacularly by ignoring anything he had to say already.]
[if there's one thing that alex knows about Richard it's that of course he has the file open on his computer. Of course he's looking at the images from every angle that he possibly could. In many ways he and Alex were the same; only where as he would have dealt with this alone if he could of Alex had sought out the help of others.
But either way of course the two of them were both pouring over every bit of it.
Alex wants to hug him but this isn't the right time for it, not in the middle of the fight so she just does something perhaps equally unexpected]
You were right. I shouldn't have made it public. I'm sorry, Richard.
[There's no sugar coating or placation. There's no way he would do that at this point. He'd told her to take it down or private it. She'd refused to listen or even discuss it. She'd merely dismissed him as if he didn't matter in all of this, as if he shouldn't care about it or shouldn't be hurt by her actions, by locking him out of this almost entirely.
Part of him wondered if she would have even come to him if something hadn't gone wrong. He doubted she would, which hurt all the more. Not that he would be willing to express or entertain the emotional state. Anger was far more comfortable to deal with. Hurt and a feeling of betrayal were far too deep to manage, especially when the object of those feelings was standing in front of him.]
I know.
[Maybe she felt bad, and maybe she'd apologized, but she never once listened. Never once thought about the fact that he'd been there so, so many times. When he was a child, with Bobbie Mames, and the one she should have known best, with Coralee and everything that had been happening. Still, she'd ignored everything, choosing instead to turn to complete strangers. Even admitting that she was turning to complete strangers instead of him. Believing that they would help her more than he could, more than the network of people that she trusted could.]
[It said something that this was the first time in three years when the three of them had a fight that Alex was outright apologizing for something she did. To him. On the same day she'd done it. There was still something of the disconnect between fighting with Strand and fighting with Richard because it was easier to fight with Strand when things weren't so personal. Like they were now.
And because they were personal, Alex just counted to ten before she responded, because while Strand would never show hurt, she knew him too well to know that he didn't feel it. After all, that's what things like his armor were for, so that no one would ever know that they'd gotten under his skin, and Alex had. Especially with something like this, especially given what he'd said about not letting him work on it first.
But she also knew him, and she knew how he was and she knew there was no way he was going to admit what was actually on that tape, any more than he would have admitted when they were on his own.
Still, she was going to try, and her voice was little.]
I know. I do know, Richard. I just...
[She took a deep breath and stepped closer, making sure the door was shut and locked behind her. After all, this was a fight for them and not for the rest of the people in the university.]
I was thinking of how much we both wanted answers here, and how we might have been able to find them so that we didn't even...
[Need to entertain going to Geneva, but she can't even get it out. Instead she adds:]
[He wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, and before he could not, he'd already done it. It was as if no one seemed to think he was capable of making choices. Coralee, and now Alex was doing it. Running to strangers instead of coming to him with things that concerned him.]
You didn't think that might be something we should have discussed?
[There's a pause before he adds.]
Before you chose to discuss this with the entirety of Riverview; without even thinking of asking my thoughts.
[Alex takes a deep breath, because she knows him well enough to know that yes, he's angry, but he's also hurt. And she'd be too if the situations were reversed.
So she just stepped forward closer to him, looking, for Alex Reagan anyway, rather contrite.]
I admit it, alright, I acted in anger by posting it after... And I am sorry. Richard, it's not that I don't want your thoughts, and I definitely wasn't trying to cut you out or anything like that. I should have come to you first I just.
[Alex sighed softly again.]
I thought that it might give us answers, in one way or another. Like if it was a super high tech forgery, or from people whose worlds deal with this sort of thing all the time.
[and then there was time for a little more honesty and she couldn't look at him for a second.]
I know whatever I find you're not going to believe. And I know you don't think I care about your privacy but I do. I just don't think you know how worried I am about losing you to all of this.
[A part of him wanted to point out that she already had done those things. It wasn't trying, it was. She'd cut him out of the discussion entirely and ran off on her own with the entirety of Riverview.
This was just presenting the evidence, and they both knew it.
Which was what made this so complicated, there was nothing that could be done about the past, no matter how recent it was, and he was already starting to wonder what else she'd done with the people of this place in his absence. How many other Jeffs there were out there that she'd told three years of his life story to. Said that he was this 'key to open the door to Armageddon.'
And yet, he'd forgiven Coralee for what she'd done, hadn't he? And wasn't this similar, almost the same thing. Coralee had stayed away, allowed people to continue to believe he'd killed her, to protect him from Warren. She'd let him spend twenty years fruitlessly searching for her for the same reason. Alex was doing the same thing in her own way. She'd exposed herself and cut him out of the whole discussion. Seeing him now, only when he was angry enough to disappear, only when the 'evidence' was ready to be presented. All in the name of protecting him. Something he'd never once asked anyone to do for him.
He hated it, but there wasn't much that he could do. The same important feeling that he'd felt for years creeping back into his body. He shouldn't have done this again. Shouldn't have allowed himself to have these feelings again.]
I've already answered that worry.
[He crossed his arms over his chest, closing himself off until she finished. He wasn't a part of this, she'd said it herself. Even if, as she said now, she'd done it all for him.]
[Alex took a deep breath and shook her head quickly when he said that he'd covered that worry. Without even thinking about it, Alex moved across the room towards him with his crossed arms over his chest. Standing directly in front of him, Alex reached out and took one of his hands, refusing to let him stay as closed off and stoic as he otherwise would have been.
Her voice was very soft, and this wasn't her show voice. This was the voice she used when she'd asked him to run away with her, when she talked to him in the middle of the night in bed after one of them had a nightmare. This was her just for him voice, whether he knew it or admitted it or not.]
Richard, I'm not worried about us like that. [The words come with a sigh and she shakes her head quickly.] I mean, at least I wasn't. [She does have some worry now with how badly she'd hurt him.]
Richard, I know you love me. And I know I love you. But love doesn't stop bullets. Love doesn't stop cultists from coming and taking you and forcing you to go to Geneva,or them following through with their threat and coming and taking me. [Because that's what she knows it to be a now, or at least things it to be: a threat against her, that they can get to her if they want her. And she also expects that if she had been the one who had called from Geneva, Richard would have already been there.] And love doesn't stop the money that Thomas Warren has that he can use on us if he wants too.
I'm trying to find something we can use as protection, because I'm honestly worried that no matter where we go or how fast we get there, the two of us are going to end up in Geneva one way or another. I want a weapon or something that I can use to save you from this. That's why I didn't wait, I think. You won't believe what you see, and you'll think it's just Warren but other people won't. I know you think I'm trying to shut you out, but I'm not. Richard, I told you before I wanted to make sure you had a choice. I'm trying to do that still. I may have gone about it the wrong way, but that's what I want for you. All I want for you to have a choice in where you go and where you end up and who you love. This is about so much more than just us being at the center of this damned thing.
[As she's talking, taking his hand as if that's some cold comfort for her actions, his eyes drop, watching the floor at her feet. He'd thought they'd been over this that night. A night that suddenly felt like centuries ago now that Alex had exposed her tape.
Without having ever spoken it, he knew what was going to happen. Even if he agreed, if he wanted to run away with Alex - something he very much wanted to do, there were too many questions, too much he needed to know. He'd told her that. He'd told her he wouldn't die, and he wouldn't. He was too stubborn for Warren to kill, too important to the man's delusional plan to be killed. And no matter where they went, it would end up in Geneva. He knew that from the moment he'd gotten that phone call.
And yet she acted now as if he wasn't aware of all of this. Wasn't aware of what was waiting for them when they returned. A return to a world where nothing here would be remembered. He knew that for a fact. He'd spent time with her since the moment she'd told him that she had left and it had been an Alex that had been no different than the one that had been there previously. Nothing they learned here would change anything in their world.]
You're right.
[His voice was quiet, thoughtful. Even if Alex didn't believe it, if she thought that he lived in a fanciful world where none of this was real, that the Helvation was just some myth and that he wasn't some essential cog in a delusional man's hope to end the world, he'd thought this over. Looked into every possible idea that he could with the time he'd had, thought over every scenario, all but the one she'd offered. And there was nothing here that was going to change the inevitable. Except for this.]
Thomas Warren's greatest asset is this.
[For the first time in their conversation his eyes moved to hers, searching for an understanding of what he meant. For Alex to understand that he meant them, not her, not him, but them. Warren had spent so much time alienating him, making sure that he was utterly alone, and this, he and Alex together, was something the man could never have planned for.]
To rip it apart from the inside with fear. It's the only thing that could get him what he wants.
Edited (I hit post before I finished. Also, sorry about the word vomit) Date: 2018-07-16 05:21 am (UTC)
[At a different time that seems like years ago now, lifetimes even, Alex had told Nic that she always thought that Strand would be the one telling her that Santa wasn't real, not him. But in some ways, it was that same sort of belief in giving him that choice, giving him that option that she might save him from whatever the hell Warren had planned for him. She hadn't wanted to know what he'd chose, she'd told him not to tell her when she remembered, but there had been the part of Alex that thrived on hope and on belief that maybe just maybe they weren't walking into that trap that Warren had left for them.
It was something that she'd definitely been holding onto here, as tightly as she could. That maybe if she could give up her story and her life, he could too. Despite what Simon had said when he showed up, despite what she knew he thought without saying (that of course they were going to get back and get right on that plane to Geneva) she was still hoping that what was going to be a terrible thing wasn't coming.
Now, it was clear that it was coming and Alex's face just fell a bit, and she chewed on her lip for a second. Despite that she didn't think anyone could plan for her, or for her loving him, or his loving her, maybe she had been. Maybe she was important and maybe she was playing directly into Warren's plans now with this. For a long moment, Alex couldn't say anything, and then when she did it was just:]
Oh. [A beat and she added:] Okay. I..
[A pause and Alex just traced her tongue over her lips for a moment before she added:]
I just wanted to make sure you had a choice in something, Richard. In not going. I mean, I even came over here to offer you the option of not going home. Of just... staying here. Because he can't get to us here. But I get it now. We're going to Geneva, because there's no way in hell I'm letting you go alone.
[A pause.]
And I'm not going to let him get in the middle of us with demons or fear or breaking into my house or whatever. I mean, even with all of this, even with believing it's real, Richard? It doesn't make me think I shouldn't go with you. It makes me think even more that my place is right by your side in the middle of this.
[He knew the look, the almost tremble in Alex's voice and on her face. He knew that he'd broken something inside her, and Richard honestly was sorry for it, but the fact was that he had no other choice now. She seemed to have this, notion, which she could and would save him. That she alone could. The truth was that, in a way, she was. By being by his side, loving him and giving him support she was doing more than she could ever know. She was giving him a reason to fight against it.
That didn't mean that he wanted to. ]
I never said I wanted to go.
[He meant here, but it could also mean Geneva. He knew that, like her, he needed to know. Except there was the odd factor that they could be here and at home at the same time. Alex had been in both places. She'd been here while he had been with her back home; which meant that in the most literal of senses, they were already choosing to go or not, even while they were here.]
[Alex's voice was soft, and she didn't just mean here, she meant Geneva, because just given answers and everything else where else could they go. What else could they be other than themselves. She knew him, after all, even if she didn't think about the things that she knew all that often. No where near as often as she should. But then again if she did, then she wouldn't be her, and they wouldn't be them.
Taking a deep breath, Alex just pulled her hand away from his and wrapped her arms around herself. She was counting as she walked, but it wasn't away. No, she was counting and walking away to take the chair in the desk across from him like she had so many times before. Like she had at the beginning.]
So. [Alex's voice was soft.] What do we do now? Not about the post or what it showed, Richard? What do we do about us?
[Because the two of them had fights as a couple of course (the one about him sleeping in the chair when she was injured came to mind) but it was nothing like this. Nothing with this level of hurt and anger and pain that the two of them would just not talk for months or weeks over. That wasn't who they were now, and if they wanted a relationship, it wasn't who they could be.]
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Date: 2018-07-09 05:41 am (UTC)But maybe someone else could. Someone who has abilities that we don't. I want this to be something that can easily be explained, Richard. I want it not to be actual demons. I thought that you would want that to and it wouldn't bother you if I did it. Because of getting those answers.
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Date: 2018-07-09 05:56 am (UTC)You could have made it private, but you didn't. You could have trusted me to at least try to find answers, but you didn't, and any attempts at explaining this fact are met with dismissal. How is that caring about my advice?
[His voice is low and hurt now.]
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Date: 2018-07-09 06:05 am (UTC)I'm sorry.
[And then a few seconds later she adds:]
I swear, I didn't do it to hurt you, Richard.
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Date: 2018-07-09 09:43 pm (UTC)Will you at least make it private.
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Date: 2018-07-09 11:11 pm (UTC)Richard, there's no point to it now. It's been up for so long that everyone has seen it.
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Date: 2018-07-10 12:13 am (UTC)[The response is instant this time, like a breath out when someone punches you in the gut.]
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Date: 2018-07-10 12:53 am (UTC)[Sorry, Richard Alex just got a different message and she's going to freak out a little.]
Oh my god.
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Date: 2018-07-10 02:20 am (UTC)[He's expecting her to try and change the topic because she's making excuses because she doesn't want to take it down or private it or listen to anything he has to say.
After all, she's already said he's not involved in this.]
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Date: 2018-07-10 02:38 am (UTC)Richard...
[And then she sends him the lightened screencaps that Skye sent her, showing the demon in all the Cheryl described glory and horror.]
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Date: 2018-07-10 03:40 am (UTC)It's not real.
[His voice is very calm.]<\small>
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Date: 2018-07-10 03:48 am (UTC)What?
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Date: 2018-07-10 04:45 am (UTC)[That is totally what it is and he's not internally freaking out right now.]
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Date: 2018-07-10 04:55 am (UTC)But above all that, Alex is worried. And she's more worried about him.]
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Date: 2018-07-12 05:31 am (UTC)He refuses even to entertain the idea that it's a real demon. Demons aren't real.
Even if the tiny voice in the back of his head, the voice of a far younger and more believing Richie Strand is telling him otherwise; that it looks exactly like what he and Cheryl saw. What app the children seem to have seen.
But that's too convenient, isn't it. It has to be a trick, something Warren did to scare Alex off. He'd heard what their conversation had entailed and, of course, there was Coralee and his father. The fact that they had been kidnapped to bring him to Geneva. And of course, Alex had found her way onto the short list of people he cared about, people he'd do anything to protect. It would make sense for Warren to go after her. It was logical.
The knocking was met with a minimized window before he crossed over to open the door. It was Alex, of course, it was Alex. It wouldn't be anyone but her, an argument over her idiocy in dealing with this or not, it wasn't something he wanted to be closed out of the loop of. She'd already started to do that spectacularly by ignoring anything he had to say already.]
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Date: 2018-07-12 12:16 pm (UTC)But either way of course the two of them were both pouring over every bit of it.
Alex wants to hug him but this isn't the right time for it, not in the middle of the fight so she just does something perhaps equally unexpected]
You were right. I shouldn't have made it public. I'm sorry, Richard.
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Date: 2018-07-12 08:08 pm (UTC)Part of him wondered if she would have even come to him if something hadn't gone wrong. He doubted she would, which hurt all the more. Not that he would be willing to express or entertain the emotional state. Anger was far more comfortable to deal with. Hurt and a feeling of betrayal were far too deep to manage, especially when the object of those feelings was standing in front of him.]
I know.
[Maybe she felt bad, and maybe she'd apologized, but she never once listened. Never once thought about the fact that he'd been there so, so many times. When he was a child, with Bobbie Mames, and the one she should have known best, with Coralee and everything that had been happening. Still, she'd ignored everything, choosing instead to turn to complete strangers. Even admitting that she was turning to complete strangers instead of him. Believing that they would help her more than he could, more than the network of people that she trusted could.]
You should have listened. For one.
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Date: 2018-07-12 08:28 pm (UTC)And because they were personal, Alex just counted to ten before she responded, because while Strand would never show hurt, she knew him too well to know that he didn't feel it. After all, that's what things like his armor were for, so that no one would ever know that they'd gotten under his skin, and Alex had. Especially with something like this, especially given what he'd said about not letting him work on it first.
But she also knew him, and she knew how he was and she knew there was no way he was going to admit what was actually on that tape, any more than he would have admitted when they were on his own.
Still, she was going to try, and her voice was little.]
I know. I do know, Richard. I just...
[She took a deep breath and stepped closer, making sure the door was shut and locked behind her. After all, this was a fight for them and not for the rest of the people in the university.]
I was thinking of how much we both wanted answers here, and how we might have been able to find them so that we didn't even...
[Need to entertain going to Geneva, but she can't even get it out. Instead she adds:]
And that we'd have something on Warren.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-13 01:10 am (UTC)You didn't think that might be something we should have discussed?
[There's a pause before he adds.]
Before you chose to discuss this with the entirety of Riverview; without even thinking of asking my thoughts.
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Date: 2018-07-13 01:25 am (UTC)So she just stepped forward closer to him, looking, for Alex Reagan anyway, rather contrite.]
I admit it, alright, I acted in anger by posting it after... And I am sorry. Richard, it's not that I don't want your thoughts, and I definitely wasn't trying to cut you out or anything like that. I should have come to you first I just.
[Alex sighed softly again.]
I thought that it might give us answers, in one way or another. Like if it was a super high tech forgery, or from people whose worlds deal with this sort of thing all the time.
[and then there was time for a little more honesty and she couldn't look at him for a second.]
I know whatever I find you're not going to believe. And I know you don't think I care about your privacy but I do. I just don't think you know how worried I am about losing you to all of this.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-15 06:00 am (UTC)This was just presenting the evidence, and they both knew it.
Which was what made this so complicated, there was nothing that could be done about the past, no matter how recent it was, and he was already starting to wonder what else she'd done with the people of this place in his absence. How many other Jeffs there were out there that she'd told three years of his life story to. Said that he was this 'key to open the door to Armageddon.'
And yet, he'd forgiven Coralee for what she'd done, hadn't he? And wasn't this similar, almost the same thing. Coralee had stayed away, allowed people to continue to believe he'd killed her, to protect him from Warren. She'd let him spend twenty years fruitlessly searching for her for the same reason. Alex was doing the same thing in her own way. She'd exposed herself and cut him out of the whole discussion. Seeing him now, only when he was angry enough to disappear, only when the 'evidence' was ready to be presented. All in the name of protecting him. Something he'd never once asked anyone to do for him.
He hated it, but there wasn't much that he could do. The same important feeling that he'd felt for years creeping back into his body. He shouldn't have done this again. Shouldn't have allowed himself to have these feelings again.]
I've already answered that worry.
[He crossed his arms over his chest, closing himself off until she finished. He wasn't a part of this, she'd said it herself. Even if, as she said now, she'd done it all for him.]
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Date: 2018-07-16 12:14 am (UTC)Her voice was very soft, and this wasn't her show voice. This was the voice she used when she'd asked him to run away with her, when she talked to him in the middle of the night in bed after one of them had a nightmare. This was her just for him voice, whether he knew it or admitted it or not.]
Richard, I'm not worried about us like that. [The words come with a sigh and she shakes her head quickly.] I mean, at least I wasn't. [She does have some worry now with how badly she'd hurt him.]
Richard, I know you love me. And I know I love you. But love doesn't stop bullets. Love doesn't stop cultists from coming and taking you and forcing you to go to Geneva,or them following through with their threat and coming and taking me. [Because that's what she knows it to be a now, or at least things it to be: a threat against her, that they can get to her if they want her. And she also expects that if she had been the one who had called from Geneva, Richard would have already been there.] And love doesn't stop the money that Thomas Warren has that he can use on us if he wants too.
I'm trying to find something we can use as protection, because I'm honestly worried that no matter where we go or how fast we get there, the two of us are going to end up in Geneva one way or another. I want a weapon or something that I can use to save you from this. That's why I didn't wait, I think. You won't believe what you see, and you'll think it's just Warren but other people won't. I know you think I'm trying to shut you out, but I'm not. Richard, I told you before I wanted to make sure you had a choice. I'm trying to do that still. I may have gone about it the wrong way, but that's what I want for you. All I want for you to have a choice in where you go and where you end up and who you love. This is about so much more than just us being at the center of this damned thing.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-16 05:05 am (UTC)Without having ever spoken it, he knew what was going to happen. Even if he agreed, if he wanted to run away with Alex - something he very much wanted to do, there were too many questions, too much he needed to know. He'd told her that. He'd told her he wouldn't die, and he wouldn't. He was too stubborn for Warren to kill, too important to the man's delusional plan to be killed. And no matter where they went, it would end up in Geneva. He knew that from the moment he'd gotten that phone call.
And yet she acted now as if he wasn't aware of all of this. Wasn't aware of what was waiting for them when they returned. A return to a world where nothing here would be remembered. He knew that for a fact. He'd spent time with her since the moment she'd told him that she had left and it had been an Alex that had been no different than the one that had been there previously. Nothing they learned here would change anything in their world.]
You're right.
[His voice was quiet, thoughtful. Even if Alex didn't believe it, if she thought that he lived in a fanciful world where none of this was real, that the Helvation was just some myth and that he wasn't some essential cog in a delusional man's hope to end the world, he'd thought this over. Looked into every possible idea that he could with the time he'd had, thought over every scenario, all but the one she'd offered. And there was nothing here that was going to change the inevitable. Except for this.]
Thomas Warren's greatest asset is this.
[For the first time in their conversation his eyes moved to hers, searching for an understanding of what he meant. For Alex to understand that he meant them, not her, not him, but them. Warren had spent so much time alienating him, making sure that he was utterly alone, and this, he and Alex together, was something the man could never have planned for.]
To rip it apart from the inside with fear. It's the only thing that could get him what he wants.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-16 08:35 pm (UTC)It was something that she'd definitely been holding onto here, as tightly as she could. That maybe if she could give up her story and her life, he could too. Despite what Simon had said when he showed up, despite what she knew he thought without saying (that of course they were going to get back and get right on that plane to Geneva) she was still hoping that what was going to be a terrible thing wasn't coming.
Now, it was clear that it was coming and Alex's face just fell a bit, and she chewed on her lip for a second. Despite that she didn't think anyone could plan for her, or for her loving him, or his loving her, maybe she had been. Maybe she was important and maybe she was playing directly into Warren's plans now with this. For a long moment, Alex couldn't say anything, and then when she did it was just:]
Oh. [A beat and she added:] Okay. I..
[A pause and Alex just traced her tongue over her lips for a moment before she added:]
I just wanted to make sure you had a choice in something, Richard. In not going. I mean, I even came over here to offer you the option of not going home. Of just... staying here. Because he can't get to us here. But I get it now. We're going to Geneva, because there's no way in hell I'm letting you go alone.
[A pause.]
And I'm not going to let him get in the middle of us with demons or fear or breaking into my house or whatever. I mean, even with all of this, even with believing it's real, Richard? It doesn't make me think I shouldn't go with you. It makes me think even more that my place is right by your side in the middle of this.
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Date: 2018-07-16 09:29 pm (UTC)That didn't mean that he wanted to. ]
I never said I wanted to go.
[He meant here, but it could also mean Geneva. He knew that, like her, he needed to know. Except there was the odd factor that they could be here and at home at the same time. Alex had been in both places. She'd been here while he had been with her back home; which meant that in the most literal of senses, they were already choosing to go or not, even while they were here.]
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Date: 2018-07-17 12:37 am (UTC)[Alex's voice was soft, and she didn't just mean here, she meant Geneva, because just given answers and everything else where else could they go. What else could they be other than themselves. She knew him, after all, even if she didn't think about the things that she knew all that often. No where near as often as she should. But then again if she did, then she wouldn't be her, and they wouldn't be them.
Taking a deep breath, Alex just pulled her hand away from his and wrapped her arms around herself. She was counting as she walked, but it wasn't away. No, she was counting and walking away to take the chair in the desk across from him like she had so many times before. Like she had at the beginning.]
So. [Alex's voice was soft.] What do we do now? Not about the post or what it showed, Richard? What do we do about us?
[Because the two of them had fights as a couple of course (the one about him sleeping in the chair when she was injured came to mind) but it was nothing like this. Nothing with this level of hurt and anger and pain that the two of them would just not talk for months or weeks over. That wasn't who they were now, and if they wanted a relationship, it wasn't who they could be.]
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