IC contact

[nobasisinfact]

IC contact

Comments

[nobasisinfact]

Being off implies that you had said game in the first place.

1/2

[bardish]

You'd be surprised. normally this stuff is easy

[ At least, when it comes to just getting laid. It helps that he's, like, 6' and in great shape, okay, so it's not like he really has to try hard.

ROMANCE, THOUGH. Relationships? That shit's harder. That's what he's never been great at. ]

but i guess i do have a pretty lousy track record when it comes to romance

2/2

[bardish]

[ God though, thinking on his long track record of (mostly youthful) one-night-stands vs his much, much shorter track record of relationships... ]

do you think I'm dateable? In general i mean, not to you personally!

[nobasisinfact]

Your problem is that you assume relationships are easy.

[bardish]

oh no! I know relationships are hard, TRUST ME

i meant
uh

sex
that's the easy part

[nobasisinfact]

Clearly you're inexperienced in that as well.

[This is what you get when you're talking to someone who only has sex with someone they're romantically involved with.]

[bardish]

nnnnot exactly...

[ But he's SO not going to dive into details with that, because he's too old to wax poetic on that, and god, HE REALLY DOUBTS RICHARD WANTS TO HEAR IT, ANYWAY. ]

am I seriously not dating material, Richard???

[nobasisinfact]

No.

I prefer brunettes.

[Ever helpful Richard.]

[bardish]

helpful!

i'm gonna die alone

[nobasisinfact]

Likely.

At the risk my of sounding like I care, what is this person like?

[Call it morbid curiosity and the pursuit of who the hell would flirt with Jeff.]

[bardish]

intense

really intense

but I think he might be really sweet underneath the nice suit and beard

[ And those glimpses of sweetness are what made Jeff change his perception of Waltz from "hot but mean and terrible" to "oh no I might have a crush." ]

[nobasisinfact]

Unless you're dating an action film, intense isn not a description.

[bardish]

well he is! he's also sophisticated and really seems to care about people and I'm not dating him

I barely know him

i just want to know him, you know?

[nobasisinfact]

Clearly you mean this biblically.

[Unless he thinks about sleeping with all his friends; in which case Richard and Alex are no longer going to be friends with him.]

[bardish]

well....




yeah

[ Don't worry, Richard, you and Alex are safe from his awkward crushes! ]

[nobasisinfact]

Have you tried being straightforward?

[bardish]

I tried flirting and then he changed the subject

which you'd THINK would mean it's a no-go, right??

but then he either gave me a cute nickname OR weirdly insulted me I'M STILL NOT SURE WHICH

why is texting so hard?

[nobasisinfact]

[He may be pinching the bridge of his nose here.]

What, exactly, was said?

[bardish]

I don't know if i should repeat it exactly...

that makes it sound dirty. it wasn't dirty I swear! he just said he'd see me for dinner (we're having dinner, but it's NOT A DATE it's a business dinner) and then called me by my favorite food

[nobasisinfact]

He sounds like an idiot.

[bardish]

HE IS NOT AN IDIOT RICHARD

i think he might be like... one of those scary-smart people

[nobasisinfact]

Screaming is hardly intimidating in text, Avacado.

Did he ask you out?

[bardish]

[ Wait, how did he-- ]

Damn it, alex!

[ SIGH. ]

No i asked him. it's not a date though, i just thought he could use a friend since he just got here

PLUS he's an old family friend of my apprentice so it's complicated

[nobasisinfact]

You realize how pathetic you sound.

[That's not a question. Jeff, you asked a guy out on a date that isn't a date and he called you an avocado. Richard is starting to feel better about his fucked up life right now.]

[bardish]

what?

[ You can't see it, Richard, but just imagined the most WOUNDED PUPPY FACE. ]

None of this pathetic! Is it?