IC contact

[nobasisinfact]

IC contact

Comments

[nobasisinfact]

No.

I prefer brunettes.

[Ever helpful Richard.]

[bardish]

helpful!

i'm gonna die alone

[nobasisinfact]

Likely.

At the risk my of sounding like I care, what is this person like?

[Call it morbid curiosity and the pursuit of who the hell would flirt with Jeff.]

[bardish]

intense

really intense

but I think he might be really sweet underneath the nice suit and beard

[ And those glimpses of sweetness are what made Jeff change his perception of Waltz from "hot but mean and terrible" to "oh no I might have a crush." ]

[nobasisinfact]

Unless you're dating an action film, intense isn not a description.

[bardish]

well he is! he's also sophisticated and really seems to care about people and I'm not dating him

I barely know him

i just want to know him, you know?

[nobasisinfact]

Clearly you mean this biblically.

[Unless he thinks about sleeping with all his friends; in which case Richard and Alex are no longer going to be friends with him.]

[bardish]

well....




yeah

[ Don't worry, Richard, you and Alex are safe from his awkward crushes! ]

[nobasisinfact]

Have you tried being straightforward?

[bardish]

I tried flirting and then he changed the subject

which you'd THINK would mean it's a no-go, right??

but then he either gave me a cute nickname OR weirdly insulted me I'M STILL NOT SURE WHICH

why is texting so hard?

[nobasisinfact]

[He may be pinching the bridge of his nose here.]

What, exactly, was said?

[bardish]

I don't know if i should repeat it exactly...

that makes it sound dirty. it wasn't dirty I swear! he just said he'd see me for dinner (we're having dinner, but it's NOT A DATE it's a business dinner) and then called me by my favorite food

[nobasisinfact]

He sounds like an idiot.

[bardish]

HE IS NOT AN IDIOT RICHARD

i think he might be like... one of those scary-smart people

[nobasisinfact]

Screaming is hardly intimidating in text, Avacado.

Did he ask you out?

[bardish]

[ Wait, how did he-- ]

Damn it, alex!

[ SIGH. ]

No i asked him. it's not a date though, i just thought he could use a friend since he just got here

PLUS he's an old family friend of my apprentice so it's complicated

[nobasisinfact]

You realize how pathetic you sound.

[That's not a question. Jeff, you asked a guy out on a date that isn't a date and he called you an avocado. Richard is starting to feel better about his fucked up life right now.]

[bardish]

what?

[ You can't see it, Richard, but just imagined the most WOUNDED PUPPY FACE. ]

None of this pathetic! Is it?

[nobasisinfact]

You're using the excuse of it not being a date to go on a date with a man you want to have sex with.

What in that sentence isn't pathetic?

[bardish]

[ Pause.

Pauuuuuuse.... ]

okay fine I guess it's a little pathetic!!

[ HUFF. ]

[nobasisinfact]

Is he aware this 'date' is not a 'date'?

[bardish]

ahhhhhh

uhhhhhhh


I don't know

[nobasisinfact]

Perhaps you should clarify that before you start declaring it not a date.

[It's a date Jeff, you asked him on a date.]

[bardish]

i mean, my surrogate daughter-- who's also kind of his surrogate daughter too-- is going to be there so I figured it wasn't a date on those grounds!

[nobasisinfact]

You could ask.